Sorry.

Sorry everything I write about is so depressing.
I feel this pressure on me pressing on my chest and
I can’t ever rest, not even in peace, I feel my soul’s possessed,
Yes I’m blessed but mentally my psyche’s put to the test.
Keep me guessing when’s the next 
time death is creeping on my mind
I can’t make the feeling or the voices go away, 
I can’t tell if I am gonna live another day.
I’m stuck in the abyss
and It all started with a kiss.
It all started when you looked at me
for longer than a second
and I knew that you were thinking
you could spin this broken record
’til the needle wore the tracks out
that I’m racing on.
Shoulda known I couldn’t handle the rejection.
Fuck it guess I’ll smoke this cess and
maybe next time I’ll finally learn my lesson
instead of stressing over something that was never meant to be.
Is it me?
Is it fate?
Am I controlling my own destiny?
I’m filled with hate, love, lust, pain, and jealousy.

What’s it worth?
Is life a blessing or a curse?
When they put me in the dirt
is it bliss or will it hurt?
For now I’ll just keep living with the shirt
on my back
as I’m tryna find my path
its a balancing act
and I’m on a tightrope a million miles in the sky
wondering do I wanna die?
Do I wanna die?